Book Review: 從零開始 (Now and Then II) -- post #5…Danny Chan (陳百強)

Continuing with my 'book review' of "Cong Ling Kai Shi", the next 80s/90s artist I would like to write about is late singer / actor Danny Chan.

Danny's story is a tragic one -- another instance of a talented artist who died way too young. In the 18 years since he passed away (can't believe it has been almost 2 decades already), whenever I hear mention of him every year around the anniversary of his death, I can't help but think about what could have been. It especially saddens me knowing that his career as an entertainer (basically the pressures that come with it) is ultimately what led him down the 'path of no return' -- and reminds me once again that being in the entertainment industry is not as 'glamorous' as some people may think (and definitely not suited for everyone)....

** Disclaimer #1: The below is a recap of one of the interviews in the book and is written from my perspective – it is not by any means a direct translation of the entire interview. For a detailed description of what this particular book is about, please refer to post #1.

** Disclaimer #2: This book does NOT tell the entire life story of Danny, but rather focuses only on certain aspects of his life and career gathered from previous interviews with him (as well as the writer's own knowledge of him). Therefore, please understand that the below recap won't be 'all-inclusive'.

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INTRODUCTION

In my previous post about Anita Mui, I had mentioned that 2003 was a bad year for HK, not only because of SARS, but also because the HK entertainment industry lost two of its biggest stars – Leslie Cheung and Anita Mui. Unfortunately, 2003 was not the first time that we lost 2 big stars in the same year…exactly a decade earlier, in 1993, the HK music industry was rocked by major tragedy – the deaths of 2 hugely talented singer / songwriters -- pop/rock group Beyond’s lead male vocalist Wong Kar Kui, who died from a tragic accident on June 30th, followed later on in the year by Danny Chan, who died on October 25th after being comatose for 17 months (both died in their 30s).

It can be said that Danny’s introverted personality perhaps made him unsuited for the complicated, oftentimes ‘dark’, and almost always stressful world that is the entertainment industry, though there are certainly other factors that contributed to his mostly ‘strained’ relationship with the industry – for example, his childhood, family background, life experiences, etc. In the book, the introduction that was written to the chapter about Danny best sums up his personality as well as the tragedy of his life:

Danny was a ‘child at heart’ who was very much in need of love. His god-brother [fellow singer] Kenny Bee described him as ‘the entertainment industry’s protected species’. [Cantopop Queen] Anita Mui once said: “Leslie [Cheung] is my older brother, someone who is able to take good care of me; Danny is my younger brother, I need to protect him.” Though Danny was a man brimming with musical talent and creativity, he unfortunately had a naturally ‘sensitive’ disposition –‘happy’ times were always very few but ‘unhappy’ times occurred very often. On May 18th, 1992, Danny collapsed at his home and was rushed to the hospital…during the ambulance ride, his heart had stopped once, but was resuscitated. From that moment on, he slipped into a coma and never woke up again.

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CHILDHOOD / PERSONAL LIFE

Danny was born into a middle class family – his father was the owner of a watch shop and his mother was a typical housewife. On the surface, it appears that Danny would have a happy childhood, and I guess in a sense, you could say that he did to some extent. But one factor that set his family apart from other typical middle class families – Danny’s father had 2 ‘wives’ (though under HK law, the first wife is the official one and the second wife is only the ‘mistress’). Therefore, even though Danny technically had 3 older brothers, 1 older sister, and 1 younger brother, all of them were actually half-siblings born to his father and ‘official’ wife….his own mother only bore 1 child (him). Growing up, Danny lived separately with his mother and did not see his siblings much, so unfortunately, his childhood was one of loneliness.

Danny’s mother Mrs. Chan was a very benevolent mother, doting on her only son ever since he was born and also fiercely protective of him. Danny attended the best schools growing up and before he even graduated from high school, he had the opportunity to study abroad in the U.S. (in the state of Nevada) – however after 6 months of living abroad, he could not get used to the new (and different) environment, so he returned to HK. Not long after enrolling in 11th grade at a prestigious international school in HK, he decided to quit school completely.

As a youth, Danny’s musical talent was already obvious. In the mid-70s, when the electric keyboard started to become popular, Danny taught himself how to play the instrument and just like that, started composing songs. The first song that he wrote was actually a birthday gift to one of his high school classmates – unfortunately though, the sheet music to that first song has long been lost, so it never got a chance to be part of Danny Chan’s official music repertoire.

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CAREER / LOVE LIFE

Danny ‘officially’ entered the music industry back in 1977, when he participated in a songwriting talent contest and also won first place in the HK Electronic Keyboard Contest (not sure what the actual name of the contest was). In 1979, Danny released his first album entitled {Tears Cried for You}, which became an immediate hit and almost overnight, Danny became a star, idolized by many youth throughout HK. When a reporter asked him where his inspiration for writing music came from, Danny replied: “Whenever I feel unhappy, I would lock myself in a room, take the unhappy mood that I’m in, and vent it out through the process of creating a song.”

At the age of 21, Danny was already a ‘star’ in his own right, but at the core, he was an ordinary person, just like you and me. With that being said, of course, as an ordinary person, he also had his idols whom he looked up to and admired as a fan. Not sure how many people knew this, but Danny’s idol was popular Japanese actress/singer Yamaguchi Momoe (山口百惠) – Danny adored her and like any dedicated fan, he was devoted to her and jumped at any opportunity to meet her. Fortunately for him, he had entertainment industry friends in Japan and throughout his life, he had the opportunity to meet the Japanese superstar 3 times. Danny admired the relationship that Yamaguchi had with her husband and felt that the love that they shared was something that he may never experience himself. During an interview, Danny once stated: “All along, I’ve had the desire to truly truly love someone – unfortunately, after searching for half my life, I’ve never found someone to love.”

Indeed, for most of his life, Danny had been unlucky in love. Even back during his high school days, when he would encounter someone he liked and tried to pursue her, it always turned out that the girl either didn’t like him or she already had a boyfriend. After Danny entered the industry, despite his popularity and talent, he experienced the same failures in the pursuit of love, to the point that the outside world (i.e. the Media and general public) started to speculate about his sexual orientation (typical Media reaction, though unfortunately the speculations will have a huge impact on him later on).

In 1982, Danny collaborated with popular actress (at the time) Mary Jean Reimer (翁靜晶) on the movie {Encore} (one of the few films that Danny starred in). To promote the film, Danny and Mary Jean would appear together at events constantly, oftentimes holding hands and looking like a sweet young couple. When people asked him about his relationship with Mary Jean, he was very honest about his feelings: “I like her and we get along quite well together…especially physically, we are very compatible, just like Yamaguchi Momoe and [her husband] Miura Tomokazu. However, we are not dating – her personality is a bit coyish and is used to being pampered, while I’m a bit of a chauvinist.”

A decade later, in 1992, as Danny was comatose in the hospital, Mary Jean went to visit him and broke down into almost inconsolable tears. Not too long after that, during a rare interview, she finally discusses the special relationship she had with Danny that basically boiled down to a ‘youthful infatuation’ and not a true love / romance relationship. While it was obvious that Danny cared a lot about Mary Jean and she also cared about him (she cried genuine tears of pain and sadness at his funeral), and perhaps at one point there may have been feelings that went beyond that, it didn’t amount to anything in the end. Mary Jean Reimer eventually married martial arts teacher and director Lau Kar Leung (who was 30 years her senior) in 1984 and her relationship with Danny officially ended.

The following excerpt from the book best describes the relationship between Danny and Mary Jean – a passage I decided to include because I feel that it is important in helping us understand some of the things Danny went through in his life (and perhaps helped shape his future):

For the two ‘little friends’, days of happiness eventually came to pass. She [Mary Jean] felt that Danny was becoming more and more unhappy – he was no longer that playful ‘big kid’ who liked to play jokes on others. As for herself, she seemed to ‘grow up’ faster than he was able to and eventually she chose the more mature Lau Kar Leung. With his ‘little friend’ falling in love with someone else, Danny was very upset and for many years after that, refused to speak to her.

Looking back at the past, Mary Jean Reimer still can’t say for sure whether she and Danny could be considered ‘lovers’. She says: “The most ‘affectionate’ we ever got was merely holding hands and kissing on the cheek—our relationship was very pure and innocent. This type of friendship, I don’t believe it will happen again in my lifetime.”

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PERSONAL STRUGGLES: “A Precious Flower That Wilted Too Early”

After Danny passed away at the young age of 35 (on October 25, 1993), one of his half-brothers summarized his life struggles in this way:

“Danny was a man of much sensibility and was constantly in pursuit of perfection – even the tiniest blemish was taken to heart and would cause him to brood over it. All this time, he has been pursuing what he wanted in life – eventually he had fame, and he had fortune, and after that, he no longer knew what else he could pursue. Actually, at that time, he didn’t need to pursue anything more, however he began to constantly worry that one day, he would eventually fall. This was a worry that weighed heavily on his mind and in his heart.”

From the start of his career in the late 70s, it can be said that Danny’s career was pretty smooth in that he quickly became popular and was able to attain fame and fortune fairly early. However, the one aspect of being in the entertainment industry that Danny was never quite able to come to terms with was the constant pressure placed on entertainers by the Media and general public. In the mid 1980s, Danny’s fellow entertainment industry ‘brother’ and good friend Leslie Cheung started to rise in popularity and not surprisingly, the Media and general public started comparing the 2 artists constantly. In response to such sentiment from the outside world, Danny once told the author (Huang Li Ling) during an interview: “I hate it when people ask me ‘Leslie Cheung is so popular now, how do you feel about that?’ How do they expect me to feel? Am I supposed to be jealous of him? Am I expected to constantly think of ways to overtake him? We were once under the same manager and I personally saw how he overcame adversity to achieve the success he has now – I will only be happy for him!” When I read this section, I genuinely felt saddened at how frustrated Danny must have felt back in those days having to constantly deal with the unending questions and ‘pestering’ from the Media. Unfortunately, almost 2 decades later, nothing has changed in terms of the Media and how ‘public figures’ are treated – the Media still has the same ‘old-school’ mindset.

Even though Danny did feel frustrated over constantly being asked about Leslie, that was only a minor irritation in comparisons to the emotional and mental ‘beating’ that Danny endured from the Media (and general public) in 1985 (which many feel that he never fully recovered from). The anguish that he felt during that time eroded his confidence and it took him more than 2 years to regain the strength and confidence he needed to continue on with his career (and life). Reading this section of the book really upset me because even though I am fully aware of the ‘cruelty’ that the HK Media and paparazzi are capable of (it’s hard not to be aware after following the entertainment industry for so many years), I can’t help but feel angry at their actions (and the whole ‘it comes with the territory of being in the industry’ type mentality, which I personally feel is a bunch of BS!). In the following section, I will attempt to recount the struggles that Danny went through in 1985 and the impact it had on him subsequently, as it will provide much insight into what led him down the path he took that eventually cost him his life.

In September 1985, Danny had to enter a hospital for a few days. Almost immediately, all sorts of horrible rumors and speculations started to surface – including rumors that he had contracted AIDS (remember that people had speculated about his sexual orientation at one point) and even rumors that he had died! Just when the rumors became more and more intense as well as horrific, Danny finally re-appeared in public and ended all speculation….unfortunately though, the damage was already done. The below excerpt from the book describes Danny’s feelings during this period and the impact that the rumors had on him (sorry for including such a long passage, but I feel that it’s important to hear Danny’s words directly rather than paraphrase…):

Knowing that Danny was safe and sound, I [the author Huang Li Ling] called him up to see how he was doing. He said: “I am very upset – those rumors truly crossed the line! I don’t understand why those people had to say those types of things!” After a short silence, he muttered: “It’s really difficult being an artist.”

Sensing the tiredness and worrisome anger in his voice, I asked him what had truly happened. He replied: “My biggest issue is that I don’t have a place to live. A few months ago, a geomancer told me that my house [in Happy Valley] has bad feng shui, so I planned to move out, but the better houses are too expensive, so I decided to temporarily move back to my father’s house to live. Unfortunately, my ears are way too sensitive – if there is even a tad bit of noise, I am unable to sleep. Not sleeping well for a period of time, I will naturally be moody and in bad spirits.”

Asked why he went to the hospital, Danny’s sensitive nature started to surface: “What is unusual about a person going in to get a physical examination? My heart was beating faster than usual, but other than that, everything else was fine physically. My mood gets tense and nervous very easily – it’ s my personal issue and doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else, so there’s no need to pull innocent people ‘into the water’. I’m sure you understand what I mean?” [The ‘innocent person’ that Danny was referring to was Leslie Cheung, as Leslie had jokingly made some comments about Danny at his concert earlier – in good fun, since they were both good friends and ‘brothers’ – however the Media took the words out of context and made it into a big issue, trying to make it seem like Danny and Leslie did not get along when that was far from the truth. Danny was upset at the Media’s actions, however the Media spun it to make it seem like he was upset at Leslie].

To combat the rumors, even Danny’s god-mother Mrs. So as well as his own mother Mrs. Chan couldn’t help coming to his defense:

Mrs. So: “Danny has a serious case of insomnia – even if we were to walk by in slippers, that little bit of noise would still wake him.”

Mrs. Chan: “A musician’s ears are truly very sensitive. Our entire family is already helping him try to find a place to live. This son really causes me to worry about him.”

When the author (Huang Li Ling) met up with Danny again in 1988, she could tell that he was still very unhappy. Indeed, during an interview at that time, he indicated to her that he would sit at home during the night, look out at the beautiful view outside the window, and feel lonely. The author even commented that the last time she saw the playful, happy Danny was in 1984 and since then, things had changed drastically…..

He [Danny] admitted that the nasty rumors from 1985 had indeed knocked him down quite severely. I told him that he should have come out and said something at that time, as that would have shut people’s mouths quickly, to which he replied: “Unfortunately, I am a bit foolish and also very weak – the more people said things, the more I would retreat and eventually close myself up to others. That was the worst torture I had ever endured, the worst curse. Ever since I entered the industry, my path had been relatively painless, so to all of a sudden encounter such a situation, I didn’t know how to handle it. At that time, Katie Chan [Danny’s manager in the later part of his career – she was also his close friend; currently, she is manager to Faye Wong and Eason Chan] wasn’t my manager yet and so I didn’t have anyone to help me or anyone to talk with, so I became silent.”

He thought a little more, then continued: “The person who first started the rumors seemed to have purposefully timed it, to purposefully ‘chop down the flower’ and make me no longer able to exist in the industry. Nevertheless, I should probably thank that person, because at least that situation made me somewhat stronger – though I am still not as strong as I need to be. It took me 2 years to regain my confidence – that time period was truly very difficult for me.”

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CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Without a doubt, Danny had tremendous talent when it came to music – unfortunately though, he was not cut out for a career in the oftentimes cruel and unjust world that is the entertainment industry. Knowing what I do about Danny, I sometimes wonder whether his fate would have been different if he had gone into a different field. And thinking about this, along with the other HK entertainers who have left us over the years, I can’t help but lament the plight of the industry.

Three years after he had entered the industry (in the early 80s), Danny considered leaving the industry for the first time – but he held on and persevered. After having endured a particularly difficult year for him (1991 was a low point for him in terms of his career), Danny finally decided in 1992 that he would retire from the industry for good. In March 1992, he held 3 concert shows in Shanghai, China – this was to be the first leg of his farewell concert tour, his last before retiring. During the last segment of the show, when he ended with his classic song {一生何求} [the themesong to “Looking Back in Anger”], the entire audience stood up and clapped to the beat of the song – a particularly poignant and touching moment that meant a lot to Danny…in his words, this was “a moment I will never forget for my entire life.” The next month, in April 1992, Danny performed at a special event in Shanghai (along with other artists) to promote environmentalism – this was his last appearance in public and also the last time that he would perform on stage.

I would like to end this post with an excerpt from the book – a particularly well-written section that, through a mother’s words, recaps the struggles her son faced in life while at the same time, relays her heartbreak and pain at the tremendous loss of a precious life – a sentiment that I’m sure everyone who cared about Danny (whether a fan of his music or not) shared:

On May 18, 1992, he [Danny] collapsed at his home and after being rushed to the hospital, remained in a comatose state; it was reported that his collapse was due to consuming a particular medication after drinking alcohol. His mother, Mrs. Chan, went to the hospital every day to sit by his bedside and keep him company, patiently waiting for the day when a miracle would happen. She would tell me: “the ‘reborn’ Danny definitely will not be the same Danny as the past – he definitely will NOT remain in the entertainment industry. He will leave all the gossips and unhappiness behind him and be an ordinary person. In the past, I would always encourage him to ignore what people say and don’t be concerned about all the gossips….but he couldn’t find the strength and allowed himself to sink deeper…..” Day after day, the benevolent mother continued to sit by Danny’s bedside and whisper words of encouragement in his ear – but unfortunately she was not able to rouse him. 17 months later, he passed away.

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Danny is truly a legend and is truly missed by all of his friends, family, and fans! Rest in peace, Danny!